I began recently reading this excellent book called "The Weekend Homesteader" which has me thinking a lot about how I live. I've always found myself to be very practically minded, very prepared. But what does that mean, really? The book, addresses the idea of "personal identity" a lot. Why do we work as hard as we do... is it because we need to, or is it because we want for things that we don't have? The problem, it insists, is that for a lot of people their primary identity is "work." That we become so reliant upon income, so that we can then purchase the things we believe we need, is that we become primarily an "employee."
So in my search for a solution to short term financial issues I began asking the question, "who do I want to be - primarily?"
I'm so happy with all of the things that I have. I have a wonderful home, a great little family, a big yard to dig holes in, and so few worries if I'm really honest about it. So why, if that's the case, do I need more money? I'll save you the time thinking - I don't. The problem is simply that I'm not working hard enough. If I buckled down and got the vegetable garden up and running, if I stopped worrying about hiring workers for construction projects and started doing things the good old fashioned (hard) way, if I focused more on my small business - I would have all that I need.
I am just realizing more and more that I don't ever want my primary identity to become "money."
It brings me joy that my identity is "Witch," "Wise Woman," and, Friend". I've become that person that people come to for advice, for healing, for aid in times of trouble - and I love being that person. The world doesn't have enough wise women anymore. Maybe that's because all our healers are out there slogging through nine to five days and all that's left for them to give at the end of it all is their body to the couch.
I've been working on a project lately assigned to me by my High Priestess in which I am to spend a month (or more) with a deity that I am unfamiliar with, and the one she chose for me was the Roman Goddess "Abudantia." (You might know her from ancient Roman coins depicting a robed woman holding a cornucopia overflowing with coins.) She is the sheer embodiment of giving, of helpfulness, of fullness, of abundance. In the style of deified virtues, she is meant to make holy that ability within us all to be grateful. Above all of her surface glitz and glam of giving, of lighting candles to her and leaving out dishes of honey in hopes that she will show up in the night like an ancient Roman Santa Claus and leave you gold coins and wheat (Which is something she apparently does, by the way.), she, at her core, wants you to be happy. Abudantia asks only that you, in exchange for her love, take a moment to consider the abundance that you already have. Truly, throughout the process of this project, I have been given many gifts by the Lady - but that isn't really her point. Her purpose is in showing you how richly blessed you are already so that the extra things that come into your life are true bliss and recognized for the gifts from the Gods that they are. She asks that you not stress, or fear, or worry about what you need - but instead look around at your family, your garden, your friends, and smile at all that you have. I've been given a lot of perspective in the last few weeks working on this assignment. I've gone from spending a lot of time wishing and wanting, to smiling, and being more grateful when her gifts find their way to me. From fearing and worrying - to having faith that the Gods will provide, and reward me for living this life of giving that I have chosen.
I will always be a daughter of the Morrigan, but Abudantia has earned a place forever in my heart and in my home. She isn't the kind of lady that begs an altar from me, or even much in the way of offering - but what she asks instead is that I deify that virtue of abundance within my own heart, that I embody the spirit of what she is. My identity will always be Witch, and I vow to never let it be money or work or material things. I will always let my plate overflow with giving for those around me. I will hold up her cornucopia of treasures for the people in my life and give freely of what I have. And what more could I possibly ask for? I have hearth, home, a beautiful daughter, a husband that loves and adores me (whom I love and adore in return), amazing friends, and a life filled with the joy of simplicity.
I don't think you can get any closer to abundance than that.